The Sanctuary of Sin Podcast

E1: Welcome to the Sanctuary of Sin – Who the Hell Are We?

Emily Sin and Jayson Episode 1

Welcome to The Sanctuary of Sin – the podcast where kink, queerness, and everything seductively sinful collide.

In our very first episode, we’re peeling back the latex curtain and inviting you into our world.

We’re Jayson and Rebecca (aka Emily Sin) – partners in life, kink, and chaos – and together we run The Sanctuary of Sin, a kinky little haven that grew from our passion for BDSM, exploration, and community. We’ve been together for over 10 years, but our journey into kink, queerness, and self-discovery has taken us to places we never imagined… including dungeon parties, swinger nights, kinky markets, and some truly unforgettable workshops across the UK.

We’ve known each other since we were 7 (yep, really!), growing up in small ex-mining towns in rural Scotland. With semi-religious upbringings that never quite fit who we were, kink became our escape – our sanctuary – a space where we could break free from norms, shame, and hetero vanilla expectations. It’s where we found our people: the neurospicies, the queers, the misfits, and the gloriously filthy fabulous folk who welcomed us with open arms!

In this episode, we’re sharing our story – how we discovered we're both switches, how exploring Rebecca’s dominant side and Jayson’s submissive side changed the game, and how this wild ride led us to some amazing humans, unforgettable moments, and a whole new way of connecting.

We also talk about the birth of Uncensored Scotland – created by Rebecca and the powerhouse Moth of Moth to Flame Events. What started as a sexy 18+ market has become a movement, creating space for trans folks, kinksters, queers, furries, sex workers, polycules, and everyone in between to come together and celebrate everything cunty, smutty, and fabulous.

This podcast is our next adventure – a space to explore everything delectably sinful: the seven deadly sins, kink, witchcraft, queer culture, sex work, and all the beautifully taboo things in between. We’re leaving room for this to grow and evolve, just like we have.

So grab a drink, settle in, and prepare to sin a little.

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Until next time,
Stay curious. Stay kinky. Stay sinful.

Rebecca:

For our first episode, we thought we'd give a little introduction into who we are, why we're doing this, and what we're going to cover.

Jayson:

Together, we run the Sanctuary of Sin, which is an online kink shop full of goodies personally tried and tested, loved and recommended by us for you, straight from our toy box to yours.

Rebecca:

This introduction is to set the tone for future episodes which will include more in-depth discussions, guest interviews, and deep dives into our special interests, the world of kink, sex, and everything sinful. So a little bit about us. I've been interested in BDSM for as long as I can remember. It's always been something I knew would be a massive part of my life and these last few years I have really gotten to explore and grow this side of myself.

Jayson:

I'm also very much in the same position. Always known as being something I've been interested in but it's taken a wee bit further down the line to really get into and explore.

Rebecca:

I think the social anxiety was winning up until that point

Jayson:

oh yeah definitely

Rebecca:

yeah we'd never even started going to events until during lockdown since all the events were online anyway and like I was working from home so I was constantly on zoom like it was just no it felt like work but it was like I don't know in a place I was comfortable because we were getting to like do it from the house and that yeah and it was quite like a good introduction

Jayson:

yeah I started off with a sort of a games night yeah

Rebecca:

and

Jayson:

also a rope workshop and stuff it was really good it was a nice break from the sort of monotony that was lockdown

Rebecca:

yeah definitely it was something we'd always talked about doing and yeah that was just a great opportunity for us to just dip our toes in so to speak

Jayson:

yeah it was a really nice gentle start to enter the community

Rebecca:

yeah so fast forward a few years and we were heading out to our first ever munch a little tea house in Glasgow and we actually ended up bumping into someone that we knew from our vanilla life which was wild was not expecting that at all

Jayson:

total like stomach drop moment

Rebecca:

yeah low-key terrified I'm not gonna lie but it was the first experience that I had kind of like normalising kink in a way that it was just you know people that you don't expect they still have that side to their life and

Jayson:

yeah for me was that moment of oh they walk among us like these people are just peppered through everywhere and it's fine it is normal but

Rebecca:

it's nothing to be ashamed of basically was a kind of takeaway from that like it was quite nice I feel like things have definitely kind of lined up for us as we've went through our kind of journey

Jayson:

yeah well that was that was the proof that anybody you see on the street could in fact be part of this community and you would have no idea it's not like they don't necessarily stand out and attract loads of attention but there are people everywhere no matter where you go there are people everywhere that could be part of this community

Rebecca:

and obviously you keep everybody's privacy that's paramount and I think that was part of it as well I think when you're not used to this lifestyle and you're first going to something like that there is that fear that you're going to bump into somebody I feel like that's quite a

Jayson:

common especially when you're still in a place where you're not out about this lifestyle to friends or family or co-workers or anything like that that fear of

Rebecca:

judgment

Jayson:

really judgment and being outed um was in the beginning especially massive

Rebecca:

yeah so i think like we almost overcame that like straight away you know straight in at the deep end that's per fucking usual but like it was quite nice to have that experience and then have like a positive kind of aftermath so to speak where do you know the worst happened quote unquote yeah but Like the way it was handled and the way everybody was like discreet and nice. Cause do you know that person was in the same boat as us where they were feeling the same that, do you know, I think when your personal and kink life collide when you're not out and you're not, as you've said, kind of like, you're not comfortable having that conversation with the people around about you yet. it can be quite like a worry and it can be quite like an overwhelming thing and I think like having that experience and coming out the other side of it I think we were better for it

Jayson:

absolutely I think it was like a really like prominent example of how the sort of the rules and safeguards within the community actually they're not just on paper

Rebecca:

totally

Jayson:

they are real and people do stick by them yeah and people are not out to

Rebecca:

sabotage other people, for want

Jayson:

of a better word. Everybody's looking out for each other to keep the discretion. Because, I mean, obviously for some people, their jobs and things like that, there could be a lot of backlash.

Rebecca:

I was certainly in that boat at the time, with the lane of work I was in. and it being in my contract that like my time outside of work needed to reflect the values blah blah blah and I'm not saying that I'm not anyway saying that kink is immoral or whatever but you never know how people could take that when you know there is there is still a taboo there there is still a bit of a kind of feed of the unknown I think a lot of the time and I think it doesn't help the way it's portrayed in media a lot of the time it's getting better there's been a few things I've seen recently that we're kind of getting closer to what the community is like but it is very much still sensationalised a lot of the

Jayson:

time sensationalised and made it to be seedy and dangerous or like

Rebecca:

demon worshippy I've seen a few that kind of start crossing the line yeah

Jayson:

something a bit more sinister and untoward

Rebecca:

aptly named are we yeah so Being painfully neuro-spicy and undiagnosed, I've never really felt like I belonged anywhere. And starting to go to kink events and becoming part of the larger community made me realise I'd found my people. I was going through some really rough things at the time and honestly, kink and joining the scene honestly saved my life in a lot of ways. And that, you know, it gave me an opportunity to feel normal. As much as I hate that word, but like, you know, when we started going to events and stuff and everybody's kind of knew that I know the terms like unmasked and just kind of free being themselves to a lot more to an extent than I was used to it's like with the people that I was surrounded by like it was total night and day and it was like oh I'm allowed to be like that like this is not like something that I need to continue to like kind of cover up about myself and hide like it was really freeing

Jayson:

yeah it was so like affirming to be

Rebecca:

yeah

Jayson:

that's the word surrounded by surrounded by you know like-minded people with similar interests and you know both in kink and in vanilla life yeah yeah

Rebecca:

totally

Jayson:

a lot a lot of the more niche interests and stuff in vanilla life have quite a lot of representation in the kink community because we're all geeky as shit yeah lots of games nights and things like that with people that are into board games and all the stuff that we in our vanilla life were already involved in it was really nice having the crossover meaning that your connections that you're building with these people don't have to just stay relegated to like the sort of kink side of things it can be a place to actually make friends I

Rebecca:

know we certainly have over the

Jayson:

time

Rebecca:

I think the other part as well is like you were saying we were going to similar style events but like in our vanilla life but I think there was always like always a feeling that you were hiding do you know what I mean for me even when I was like meeting other people just through vanilla activities and stuff like that like I don't know I think having like a thing that I was still holding onto a bit of shame about just like totally exposed and like okayed just totally brought down like a wall I didn't realise that I had up previous

Jayson:

to that it makes it so much easier to make deeper and more longer lasting connections when you know that there is not large parts of yourself and your interests and things that you need to hide from people if you know that you can go in and just totally be open and be you it's much easier to forge a really good connection

Rebecca:

I think it's difficult as well because I would say again like looking back kink has definitely been like a special interest of mine and it's something that like I enjoy speaking about and yeah I think having more opportunities for that was like amazing as well it was really good just being able to go in and not feel like you were holding anything back so we've been in a relationship for 10 years and though we've been practicing BDSM that full time I personally feel like my own practice and kind of awareness of myself and my kinks and like what makes me tick so to speak didn't really begin to flourish until we started going to events because as I say I was kind of holding on to like a bit of shame I think still and a bit of like I don't know thinking things needed to be a certain way that were even going against my own you know I feel like again looking at like media and stuff a lot of what I was kind of basing my interests off of were in a way quite damaging because they were very like traditional and very like regimented and not really the way that like my personal way doing kink is and I was kind of tying myself in knots like trying to fit in a box that I felt I needed to fit in I

Jayson:

think being going to events and seeing other people practicing kink and how their dynamics differ from these sort of like traditional views that you get from from books and from porn. That was really freeing to see that, oh, it doesn't have to just be this sort of one way and this one dynamic that you've seen or you've read about and actually can look however you need it to look, whatever suits yourself and your partner or partners. Aye, just what works for you.

Rebecca:

it was a total kid in a candy store moment going in and just seeing so many different variations and so many different flavors and you know like the thing that always stuck out for me was like the amount of people that actually like played and did scenes with like friends in like a platonic way and you know it was total from going from like you know the traditional like male dom female sub like very authoritarian very strict which never really suited me totally like it wasn't like I don't know I'm totally forgetful you know for an example like trying to build in like routines and rules and like my brain doesn't work like that so I just I don't know added to this like feeling like I wasn't enough and feeling like I wasn't good enough to be doing what I was doing and it was so nice like walking into a room and just being totally like almost overwhelmed with joy at like just seeing how diverse and how colourful things can actually be how much people can just have fun with things and I feel like it's definitely opened up a lot of what we do together going forward from that and what I do myself as well

Jayson:

Yeah, I think seeing the different types of dynamics has really, really led to us being able to try lots and lots of different things and lots of ways of varying the dynamics that I feel has really given us a much deeper connection with each other during scenes. It's just really made it feel so much more wholesome.

Rebecca:

Yeah. I think one of the biggest changes I would say is like previous to us going to events it was very much like you were the dom I was the sub like I thought that was how it was always going to be you know and like through going to events and kind of exploring and being just generally more comfortable and myself with both my kinks and just generally in my own skin as well like discovering my dom side and like us switching things up and the kind of journey that we've been on since then you know I've got to almost like double like everything I think this is why so much of the stuff that we enjoy and are interested in and sell as well is so like novelty based because we're just like oh a new thing oh a new thing not seen that before

Jayson:

yeah we're absolute fiends for dopamine yeah that is that is us and that is our dynamic and I think there are plenty other people out there who that is also something that's part of their dynamic.

Rebecca:

Yeah, totally.

Jayson:

Part of their interests. They're drawn to the dopamine.

Rebecca:

It's so funny. Anytime we've got stalls, places, you can just see the neurodivergent people because they just get so excited. They're just like, oh my God, shiny. It's great. It's great. It's good fun. You can spot your customers coming. So going back in time a wee bit, we were both raised going to church and Sunday school and it's definitely added in quite a few hurdles for us to overcome in terms of making peace with this part of ourselves and our sexuality we're both queer and we've always kept this hidden from parents and those around us even ourselves at times that's been a whole other journey in and of itself

Jayson:

yeah that was something I did not realise about myself until actually very recently but but now looking back through that lens realise it should in fact have been more obvious a long time ago The

Rebecca:

masking is strong

Jayson:

I think quite a large part of that's growing up that's or at least when we were at school and things that was kind of a major source of bullying and I think growing up and realising oh cool I like girls, that's fine. I've put myself in that box and no questions asked for quite a long time. Because that box was safe and I knew at least that part of it was true. I didn't realise there was an awful lot more to uncover in that respect.

Rebecca:

so all of this is what kind of led to our name when we were first coming up with like when we're starting the business we're like oh what can we be called and do you know a lot of what kind of motivated us at the time was like us being our own customer yeah yeah and like what like what what was the service we were providing because you know we're not just selling toys we are like trying and testing things and given things like a really good goal so that if anybody has any questions about anything you know we personally use everything that we sell so we know we have our own personal experience we can draw from and you know we know what works for us we know what works in our dynamic we know how we've used these things in scenes and can give people ideas and examples and discuss things quite in depth and I feel like all of that is like a service that we provide alongside just what we are selling

Jayson:

yeah i mean we we kind of arrived at this point because through through the 10 years of us being together we have spent an obscene amount of money on toys and gear and stuff and we were just so often disappointed with what we'd got yeah uh you know things not living up to how they were advertised or getting things in the break after a few uses. And I wouldn't even say that we are particularly hard on things.

Rebecca:

Speak for yourself.

Jayson:

I think we have the capacity to be, but I think a lot of things don't even make it that far. And really, we were sat there going, surely there must be be other people out there who are also tired and frustrated of spending lots and lots of money on stuff that just doesn't cut

Rebecca:

it

Jayson:

but by this time we have found quite a reasonable number of things that do work for us and have held up to the test of time some of them

Rebecca:

for like not quite 10 years but getting close at this point you know so

Jayson:

yeah So this thinking that there must be other people out there in this situation, our business, we would be our perfect customer. I wish there had been something like this for us to go to.

Rebecca:

Yeah, especially at the beginning, which is where the sanctuary part of our name comes in. A lot of what we're doing, we're kind of advertising to beginner people that maybe don't have the money to go out and buy bespoke handcrafted items because... As much as we own a lot of stuff like that as well, we love supporting other creators and other makers and stuff out there. Their stuff is beautiful and stunning and is definitely worth buying if you know that you like that stuff. I feel like we're sitting a wee bit closer to the beginning of the journey where you're not sure if you like something yet. You can get something that is great, works well, is going to do you a long time, but gives you that kind of opportunity to try things at a lower price point before you commit and get something potentially

Jayson:

yeah because as well we we try new things so often

Rebecca:

yeah

Jayson:

and buying all the things to go along with every every new idea totally can get quite expensive um

Rebecca:

and not all of it we enjoy do you know

Jayson:

this is the thing it's quite a big commitment

Rebecca:

it can be quite a lot if you go and drop x amount on a toy and then it's not really your thing like so aye, I think we're kind of hitting this middle ground, do you know?

Jayson:

Yeah, and I think as well the fact that we are telling people all these things we are selling is in our toy box at home. I think that really helps to keep people at ease and they don't feel as weird or like they're being judged as much because they're attracted to a certain thing me being able to go oh yeah yeah we've got that at home we use it all the time and the person's going oh right I've felt a wee bit weird about looking at this or whatever

Rebecca:

or asking questions

Jayson:

or asking questions not knowing what a thing is or what it does it's really nice to be able to do a little bit of education for people as well because there's lots and lots of fun things out there to try

Rebecca:

We're going to do them all I think this is what's kind of led us into doing the podcast and stuff as well it's been so nice getting to be that person that makes someone comfortable and is able to have these conversations and educate people and stuff on things that you're not supposed to talk about. You're not supposed to, especially in public, having a conversation like this. It's nice that we are now able to give back in a way and create a space that maybe someone who was in that position we were in before we went to our first ever munch maybe would listen to a podcast but wouldn't be feeling up for going to an event yet and gets to hear about our experiences and gets to hear about us essentially normalising this stuff in a way that the hope is going forward that we're going to get event organisers and stuff on chatting and speaking about their events and what goes on and just giving people a little window into what goes on and letting them dip their toes in before they go along kind of thing.

Jayson:

Yeah because that can be quite an intimidating prospect feeling like you want to go to events but not really knowing what to what to expect what the you know what the sort of norms and things are for going to these these events and dress codes and things like that that can all be like quite overwhelming to begin with and i feel like the community has given us so much we have benefited so much from being a part of this community that it kind of feels like the least we can do is to give something back um especially if it helps new people who are thinking about joining the community. It is a lovely place to be. There are so many lovely people, so many intelligent and experienced people that can help you so much on your journey.

Rebecca:

Yeah. So we now travel to events and markets up and down the country and I've got to have so many amazing experiences and met some absolutely beautiful humans. We genuinely cannot wait to share their stories with you all and just hear a bit more about the kink scene.

Jayson:

Yeah, I mean, we have been at quite a number of events now over the last, what, two?

Rebecca:

Since we started going to events, it was like four

Jayson:

years ago? Yeah, four years ago then. We've been all over the country. even made it as far as Budapest

Rebecca:

our first ever market stall that we had was in Budapest which is hilarious I feel like we will share that story another time but yeah the opportunities that we've had is you couldn't write it it's wild so through the business I was lucky enough to meet Moth from Moth to Flame Events who will definitely have one soon because Moth's amazing and use a love mouth they're great so together we have set up uncensored scotland which is cunty smutty and fabulous events by the community for the community our flagship event is the uncensored market in glasgow which is a safe space and sexy market for everything kinky queer and sex positive with a real focus on being a beginner friendly community space I'm lucky enough that because we run the business, I've not only hosted the market, but I've got to be a trader at it. Or more so, Jason has. Because I've been too busy running a bit like a dafty. You've had really good experiences there. And a lot of the feedback and stuff that we've had has been so... I remember at the last one, me being me, got home, was absolutely shattered, but still proud. we get feedback from everybody because we really want it to be shaped by the community and by the people that it's serving so we've got feedback forms dotted about everywhere and QR codes blah blah blah so I was checking the feedback to see what we'd had during the day and there was a story from someone who was saying that they hadn't been to an event in over three years and really really wanted to go and pushed themselves to go and a lot of the things that we have in place like we have a quiet hour at the beginning where we have like the lights and the music and the bar closed so that it's just and like less ticket sales and stuff just so that it's like a much more sensorily chill experience but we've also got like a quiet area built in so that if things do get too much for people they've got a space that they can go and sit and can deregulate and de-stress and then come back if that's what they want and yeah this person stayed all day because they utilized this space and it was just it was so I don't even like I was like crying in bed reading this because it was just like I don't know I'd had such a good day anyway like things we had heard nothing but good things and things had went really well and just hearing that was like just so nice and like so showing that you know it's doing what it's supposed to like we're creating this space for people where you know things are It's a good intro. I feel like this is our sweet spot for everything that we're doing. We're aiming to be this kind of introduction for people.

Jayson:

Yeah, a sort of friendly space and beginner friendly just to help make that transition into the community as smooth and as easy as possible. Because it is a big deal, especially if you're anxious and things like that. It feels... massive yeah um do you know before we started going to events i never ever would have seen me where we are now

Rebecca:

no

Jayson:

um

Rebecca:

definitely not no for me either like

Jayson:

it was very very much outside my my comfort zone but now uh it's you know it's a highlight in my week if we're going going to an event or you know traveling to go to a market or because I know that I'm going to get to speak to all these lovely people and just have a nice time. Just

Rebecca:

get to feel like yourself.

Jayson:

Yeah. That's, I think so much of this journey has been me being able to feel more, more comfortable in myself and who I am. And, uh, for me that came along with a bit of, a bit of honesty to, to people around about me. Um, uh, yeah some difficult conversations but I was really pleasantly surprised with how a lot of the people I spoke to kind of dealt with what I had to say you know my parents and family and friends now all are totally aware of what we get up to and what our social life looks like But that has been a massive step that's made all of this so much easier

Rebecca:

for me. You've not got that worry in the back of your mind. I think as starting the business and me quitting my job and this being the full term, conversations kind of needed to be had.

Jayson:

Oh yeah. There was a couple of points where it was like, cool, so we're probably going to have to tell people what's going on here.

Rebecca:

I think my favourite one's definitely that conversation that you had with your gran. when your gran had phoned you

Jayson:

yeah yeah that was that was a more recent one yeah yeah

Rebecca:

yeah I with the grandparents have been keeping things pretty vague I feel like yeah the whole the whole story's maybe a bit maybe a bit too much for them so it's more just like oh it's like adult products and we leave it there

Jayson:

yeah

Rebecca:

you know ask no questions hear no lies like

Jayson:

with the option of if you really want to know we can tell you but They know

Rebecca:

they

Jayson:

don't want to know. However, my grandparents have managed to guess what it is that we do.

Rebecca:

Which is hysterical.

Jayson:

Yeah, but I was received really well. I was told, if it's what makes you happy, if it's what you want to do, then we fully support you. So that's been really, really nice. It's feeling like, all these parts of myself that I've had, or I felt I've had to hide all this time, that the people around about me are really accepting and still really supportive. It's been lovely. Now we'd like to speak a wee bit about what we're going to see from this podcast, what we're hoping to see, what kind of things we're going to cover, just how things are going to look going forward yeah

Rebecca:

we're obviously going to leave a bit of space for do you know this is likely to evolve and change because that is kind of our jam as we go but

Jayson:

yeah at least for the moment based on feedback and what people would like to see out of this so every episode we're going to bring something different we're always going to be kind of bringing it within the focus of a few things being community education and sin

Rebecca:

funnily enough

Jayson:

yeah

Rebecca:

so future segments we're looking at is like interviews featuring community members guest experts influencers from kink BDSM queer and sex positive spaces potentially some sex workers some people that run events in the community maybe some dominatrixes that would be good fun but yeah just people within our communities that have a story to be told or have an insight that they want to share

Jayson:

yeah I think

Rebecca:

we'll

Jayson:

also be reviewing events letting people know a bit of what to expect from this event what actually goes on to make that a less anxious thing hopefully for people if they know what to expect and if it's something that suits them

Rebecca:

I was going to say this earlier but obviously with kink and kink events you know every event has rules every event does have a kind of outline of what to expect but I think you know there's a difference sometimes between what is allowed at an event and like what the vibe of an event is do you know what I mean I think sometimes like things can be outlined in a certain way and that's great and you go and it's not that people are breaking rules per se but it just has a different flavour to it it just has a different you know it's mad how different similar events are in different cities for example

Jayson:

yeah even sort of like more high protocol events can look very different from each other um and the sort of the vibe and the flavor that sort of has um so yeah we'll be sharing our own personal experiences from the events that we go to yeah um

Rebecca:

we've got our first one this weekend that I reckon we'll do an event of which is glow down at the townhouse which is a swinger event rather than a kink event but yeah definitely share some stories from that when we come back

Jayson:

yeah yeah I think that'll definitely be quite interesting would also love to cover like listener questions so if anybody has anything they'd like to ask or anything they'd like us to speak about we'd love to get those questions from you and answer them

Rebecca:

yeah we're also going to be doing like a listener confessions segment so if anybody's got any like funny or

Jayson:

just generally kinky confessions that you'd like to share with us we'll quite happily read them out and have a wee chat about them

Rebecca:

yeah

Jayson:

We'll also be looking to do themed discussion, so doing a bit more of a deep dive into topics like consent, power dynamics, healthy relationships, queer identity and really anything else that we feel as relevant or interesting.

Rebecca:

Yeah, kind of diving into the kind of more sinful side of things as well with that way like cults and maybe witchcraft and just kind of covering anything that the church has taken issue with basically over the years and looking into why that is and what the reasons behind that are for. not less with the cult one because that's quite obvious but yeah but yeah definitely we would love for you guys to get involved you know we're looking as with everything that we kind of do we're always looking for feedback we're always looking to you know cover like a need for people and create something that's going to be a benefit rather than it just being us rambling away about things people aren't interested in yeah so yeah this podcast is as much yours as it is ours so

Jayson:

absolutely absolutely so I think that's probably just about everything we've got to say for our introductory episode

Rebecca:

yeah absolutely buzzing for going forward and this has been a lot of fun and I'm sure we're going to have a lot we just talk all the time anyway so you know we spend six hours in the car chatting when we're driving down to markets and six hours back so this is nothing new for us but it's nice to feel that this has got the potential of giving back to the community that has gave us so much and we're so grateful for that and anything that we can contribute back is definitely worth it and Onus points that it's great fun as well

Jayson:

Yeah

Rebecca:

next seven episodes are going to be covering the seven deadly sins and how they relate to the modern day and what that kind of looks like I'll not give too much away, but definitely tune in for them. It's going to be a lot of fun.

Jayson:

Yeah.

People on this episode